I recently appeared on a PenPodcast with Matthew Harms discussing how to navigate the query process, and we went back and forth on a discussion about self vs. traditional publishing (a topic that warrants many, many different articles on its own) and surmised that a big reason authors find their way to self-publishing is the fear of rejection.

Think about it: At any and every step of the traditional publishing process comes the risk of rejection. Rejection by a copyeditor or writing coach. Rejection by a literary agent. Rejection by an acquisitions editor. Rejection by a publisher. Rejection, rejection, rejection.

In self-publishing, that risk vanishes, and that may just be the allure of it – unless you reject yourself. On the podcast, we reached the conclusion that so long as you have pride in your work, it shouldn’t matter which avenue you choose to publish your book. And that is true, I’d say pride in your passion for any occupation or career path is really life-defining, and what it all comes down to.

But here’s the thing, there’s a lot that can go wrong in self-publishing. While even in a traditional publishing setting it’s still important to put yourself out there and be the mouthpiece for your message when your book is published, when you self-publish, this all falls on your shoulders alone.

As the author whose job and goal is to just write, now you’re expected to be a marketer, publisher, editor, cover artist, and agent all in one. Unless you have the resources to print thousands of copies and the resources to pay for all of these team members to make your book happen, you often fall into the bottomless pit of unsold books and untapped potential.

It’s an avenue, one that’s proven successful before. It was even brought to my attention during the podcast that the book The Martian by Andy Weir was a self-published best-seller that obviously garnered a huge film starring Matt Damon deal with it. This is an incredible feat.

But unfortunately, this isn’t the reality for most authors, and a lot of times it’s a costly mistake, a negative ROI for the self-publisher who bets on themself and loses. But at least they brought chips to the table, right?

Through a traditional publishing network, this process offers upfront money for the author, and it’s up to the publisher who has to gamble with how this book will sell. Mitigating the risk of a flop is why publishers these days will often still want to see what the author is bringing to the table when it comes to marketing before they’ve even read a page of it.

Back in the good old days, an author could be a recluse, a Bukowski or McCarthy type, a drunk, somebody you wouldn’t want to follow on Instagram if it existed, probably. Times are a bit different, and having a website or social media platform to promote your work is the most useful tool in the toolbox for the modern 21st Century author. That’s just how it is. I don’t make the rules, I just write about them on WordPress.

“You have to put yourself out there.”

It’s the vulnerability that steers authors from these traditional publishers and agents, because the weight of rejections becomes too much. I know it because I see it. I see it among friends and colleagues. I see it among the writers who send me queries. I see it among my LinkedIn, Reedsy, and Substack walls. I see it because I’m in those same shoes.

So, my honest and most genuine advice if there’s any writer out there like me who’s faced rejection coming at them from every direction is: get used to it.

• At some point, it has to be embraced, because there’s so many books and not enough readers, so many people with their own stories and sagas and not enough who will have enough time in their lifetimes to possibly read them all – not when the old classics are still preferred.
• At some point, a standard is put in place. A standard publishers uphold to say “Listen, we love your enthusiasm, but we just can’t publish a story that’s too confusing, too word-y, too much going on, too much symbolism, too much this, and too much that.”
• At some point, publishers have to close their doors from the sheer volume of submissions.

Just like with any other competitive field, rejection lurks at the door. But learning to live with it, to crumple the papers and write again, to have pride in your work, is the exact sort of life skill it takes to bet on yourself and win. Whichever avenue that may be.